Tacos & Rum or Pizza & Wine?
“I’m coming over, do you want tacos or pizza? Rum & coke or wine?” Hits a lot more powerfully than “I’m praying for you let me know if you need anything”. Now before you take off with the self righteous “prayer is the most powerful!” and “drinking isn’t a healthy coping mechanism”! Yes- I agree prayer is powerful and no- drinking shouldn’t be our go to coping mechanism. But that’s not the point.
In the season when we had two miscarriages in less than a year, I was shocked that my comfort and support didn’t come from the church. It didn’t even come from our closest family members who we know love and follow Jesus. Rather it was from the baby christians who very much knew the gospel and that Jesus saves, yet still had a lifetime of sanctification ahead of them. The one’s who still very much relied on the world’s way of doing things to live most of their life. So when we found ourselves facing death for the second time- we weren’t met with our seasoned christian family showing up. We were met with love and presence from those who had lived life in the trenches themselves and knew what got them through walking the shadows of death.
We can’t be surprised when those facing hardships and walking the shadows of death, end up walking away from the church. Why wouldn’t they? When hardships come knocking, and we haven’t taught them how to practically lament. When hardships for our brothers and sisters in Christ come knocking and we haven’t taught them how to walk with them during the hardships. Yet, those who are of the world face hardships all the time and have been taught how to be present and comfort? Our nature is to gravitate to what feels good. It doesn’t feel good to be pitied and have empty texts sent placing the responsibility of action on the one who’s drowning. It doesn’t feel good to be met with the empty promise to pray over you, yet can’t be bothered to stop in that moment and pray. It feels good to have someone press in and go “I see you, I’m going to be with you, I won’t try to fix it, but you won’t be alone.”
Welcome- I’m so glad you’re here. I’m not sure how you stumbled in. I don’t know what you may be facing, but what I do know, is life is beautifully messy and chaotic. Even more so when you’re married to the one who walks alongside a church full of mess and chaos and you- well, who loves on the pastors wife amongst that mess and chaos?
